The Best Way to Achieve Your Goals Without Feeling Overwhelmed
We’ve all heard the advice—set specific goals, give yourself a deadline, and work tirelessly until you achieve them. For a long time, I bought into this idea. I believed that if I didn’t set goals, my life would just continue to be the same, day after day. And honestly, that’s exactly how it felt before I started setting goals. It was like I was on autopilot, living the same day over and over again with nothing to strive for, nothing to look forward to, and no vision for a different or better future.
Once I started setting goals, I felt a new sense of purpose. Suddenly, I had something to work towards, something that gave me direction. I started writing my goals down in my journal, pouring my dreams and ambitions onto the pages. Sometimes I would just jot down one goal at a time, other times I would have these intense brainstorming sessions where I tried to map out the next few months, or even the next few years of my life. It gave me something to hold onto—a roadmap for where I wanted to go.
But here’s the truth: the traditional approach to goal setting can be more harmful than helpful. You see, when I started making my goals very specific and attaching dates to them, as I had been taught to do, something unexpected happened. Instead of feeling motivated, I started to feel anxious. That pressure of a ticking clock made me dread the very goals that were supposed to inspire me. The fear of failure loomed large, and it wasn’t long before I began to avoid working on my goals altogether because I couldn’t stand the thought of not achieving them by the deadline I had set.
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The Origins of My Goal Setting Journey
My introduction to goal setting didn’t come from a book or a seminar, but from an unexpected source—Amway. I was in my early 20s and had no idea what an MLM (multi-level marketing) or a pyramid scheme was. All I knew was that Amway was this big opportunity that promised success if you were willing to work for it. Now, let me clarify something: MLMs are legal, while pyramid schemes are illegal. Amway falls into the MLM category, at least as far as the government is concerned.
In Amway, goal setting wasn’t just encouraged, it was hammered into you. You had to have a goal—a big, ambitious goal. You were supposed to set these specific, date-driven goals, like achieving a certain level of sales or becoming a “diamond” distributor, which was one of the prestigious gemstone levels in their system. The more precious the gemstone, the more money you were supposed to be making.
I did everything I could to follow this method. I paid to go to the weekly training sessions, tried to convert my friends and family to join Amway, and diligently set my goals. But no matter how hard I tried, the rigid goal-setting approach just didn’t resonate with me. I wasn’t achieving the levels I was supposed to, and the constant pressure of not meeting these goals was overwhelming. By the 11th month, I decided I had enough. I exercised Amway’s money-back guarantee, returned all the products, and got my money back. My upline wasn’t happy with me, but I knew it was the right decision for me. That was the end of my affiliation with Amway.
Looking back, I’m grateful for the introduction to goal setting that I received from Amway, even though it wasn’t the right method for me at the time. It was the first time I learned about the concept of setting goals, but as I would discover, there’s a lot more to goal setting than just picking a target and attaching a deadline to it.
The Pressure of Deadlines and the Anxiety It Causes
After my brief stint with Amway, I continued setting goals, but I quickly found out that the traditional method of setting specific deadlines often led to stress and a sense of failure. One clear example of this was my goal of completing my MBA. I initially set a goal to finish by the end of January. But as the months rolled by, I realized that this deadline was unrealistic. So, I adjusted it to August, thinking that would give me plenty of time. But here we are in August, and I still haven’t completed my MBA.
Instead of being hard on myself, I took a step back and reevaluated. I realized that my approach wasn’t working because I was setting arbitrary deadlines without considering the bigger picture. I wasn’t just working on my MBA; I had other responsibilities and goals that were equally important. So, I shifted my approach. I looked at everything I’m working on right now, wrote it all down, and created a realistic plan that fits within the context of my life.
Now, I know that I’ll realistically finish my MBA by the end of September. This shift happened because I took the time to evaluate all my goals together, rather than setting a random deadline for one goal. By considering my entire workload, I was able to set a more achievable timeframe. This experience taught me that setting arbitrary dates isn’t helpful; it’s more important to place your goals within the broader context of your life.
Shifting to Flexible Goal Setting
Over time, I’ve learned that a more flexible approach to goal setting works best for me. Instead of setting rigid deadlines, I’ve embraced broader timeframes and milestones. This method keeps me motivated without the pressure of a ticking clock hanging over my head. It allows me to see where each goal fits into my life, making it easier to achieve without feeling overwhelmed.
For example, rather than saying I must achieve a certain goal by a specific date, I now look at all my goals together and plan them in a way that’s realistic. I consider my current responsibilities, my energy levels, and the things that are most important to me at the moment. This comprehensive planning approach has made it easier to stay on track and reach my goals without the stress that used to accompany them.
By embracing flexibility, I’ve discovered that it’s okay to change my mind or adjust my goals as needed. Life is constantly changing, and so are my priorities. What might seem like the most important goal today could change in a few months, and that’s okay. The key is to remain open to change and be kind to myself in the process.
A book i’ve read that helps with this is It Works
The Importance of Reevaluating and Adjusting Goals
One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned through this journey is the importance of regularly checking in on my goals. For me, journaling plays a crucial role in this process. By writing down my thoughts, I’m able to reflect on my progress, reassess my goals, and make adjustments as needed.
Take homeownership, for example. For many years, owning a home was one of my most important goals. I had this vision of settling down in my own place, building a life there, and enjoying the stability that comes with homeownership. But over time, as I’ve grown and my priorities have shifted, I’ve realized that homeownership no longer aligns with my current lifestyle. I’ve come to value the freedom to travel and explore new places without being tied down to a house. So, I’ve let go of that goal—for now, at least.
Also, check out the video that goes along with this topic.
Letting go of this goal was a big decision, but it’s one that has opened up space for new possibilities. By releasing the pressure to achieve something that no longer resonates with me, I’ve allowed myself to focus on the things that truly matter to me at this stage in my life.
Letting Go of Goals That No Longer Serve You
Learning to let go of goals that no longer resonate with you is not a failure; it’s growth. Over time, I’ve realized that it’s okay to change my goals or even abandon them altogether if they no longer serve me. Sometimes, I’ll replace an old goal with a new one, but other times, I’ll simply let it go without replacement. The important thing is to be true to myself and recognize when it’s time to move on.
This doesn’t mean that the goals I’ve let go of were wrong; they just don’t fit into my life anymore. By letting go of these goals, I’ve made room for new aspirations and a life that better aligns with who I am today. It’s a process of continuous growth and self-discovery, and it’s something I’ve come to embrace wholeheartedly.
Letting go of goals isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary for personal growth. It allows you to focus on what truly matters and gives you the freedom to evolve and adapt as life changes. By remaining open to change and being kind to yourself, you can create a more fulfilling and stress-free life.
Final Thoughts
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my journey with goal setting, it’s that there’s no right or wrong way to do it. What works for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay. The key is to find what works best for you, be flexible, and allow yourself the freedom to change your mind.
Goals are important, but they shouldn’t be a source of stress or anxiety. If your current approach to goal setting isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to try something different. Experiment with broader timeframes, reassess your goals regularly, and be open to letting go of goals that no longer serve you. By doing so, you’ll find a method that works for you and leads to a more fulfilling and enjoyable life.
I encourage you to explore your own goal-setting journey and be open to changing your approach as you grow. Remember, it’s okay to let go of goals that no longer serve you, and flexible goal setting can lead to a more stress-free and fulfilling life. I’d love to hear about your experiences with goal setting.