From Struggles to Mindful Eating: Reclaiming My Relationship with Food
I remember crying into my cold beef stew as a child, a moment that marked the beginning of a complicated relationship with food and caused a contentious relationship with it that lasted decades. That memory of sitting at the dinner table for hours, refusing to eat the peas and carrots in my stew, is still vivid in my mind. My mom threatened to serve the dish to me again the next day, but even as a small child, I knew one thing for sure: I wasn’t going to eat those peas and carrots. I spent so much time crying into that stew that if I had eaten it, it would have been unbearably salty.
This experience was far from unique; it was a defining moment in a generation where the "clean your plate" mentality was the norm. We were constantly reminded not to waste food, to be grateful because there were starving children in other countires, and this drilled-in sense of obligation to eat everything on our plates started a disconnect between me and the food I ate. I felt that if something was served to me, I had to eat it, whether I wanted to or not. This mindset lingered far beyond childhood, following me into adulthood and influencing my relationship with food in ways I wouldn’t fully understand until much later in life.
Early Struggles and Societal Pressures
As I grew older, particularly in my 20s, I began to notice the societal pressures that surrounded food and body image. Like many others, I found myself caught in the relentless battle of diet culture. Food was something to be feared, an enemy I was always fighting against but could never seem to defeat. I either wanted to eat too much of it or found myself drawn to foods that weren’t good for me. There was a constant, exhausting push and pull between wanting to eat and feeling guilty about what I was eating.
This societal pressure didn’t just affect my food choices; it disconnected me from my body’s needs. I didn’t think about how food made me feel or how it might be impacting my health. Food became something I either indulged in excessively or avoided with equal intensity, but never something I thought of as a source of nourishment or energy.
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The Turning Point: Health Challenges and Nutritional Education
It wasn’t until a decade ago, when I began to experience severe migraines, that I started to truly re-evaluate my relationship with food. Around the same time, I decided to go back to school for nutrition, hoping to find some answers. The migraines were debilitating, and I was desperate for relief. My studies in nutrition began to open my eyes to the fact that food was more than just something to eat; it had a profound impact on my health and well-being.
A pivotal moment came when I visited a holistic doctor who suggested that my asthma could be aggravated by dairy. He advised me to stop drinking milk, and though it seemed like a daunting change, I was willing to try anything to feel better. To my surprise, after cutting out milk, my asthma symptoms improved dramatically in a very short time. It was a revelation. For the first time, I realized that food could be harming me and that I had the power to change that.
This experience led me to further research into food sensitivities, and I discovered that gluten might also be a trigger for my migraines. I decided to give up gluten, and once again, the results were life-changing. The frequency and intensity of my migraines decreased significantly, and I started to see food in a new light—not as an enemy, but as something that could either heal or harm depending on the choices I made.
Breaking Free from Old Habits
The realization that food was harming me rather than helping was a game-changer. Slowly, I began to break free from the old habits and beliefs that had been ingrained in me since childhood. No longer did I feel obligated to eat something just because it was served to me or because I had bought it. I started to listen to my body, to pay attention to how food made me feel, and to make choices that supported my health rather than undermined it.
One of the most empowering changes I made was learning to say no to foods that didn’t make me feel good, even if they had been a part of my diet for years. Over time, I experimented with various dietary changes, including cutting out sugar, and each step brought me closer to a more balanced and healthier life. I began to see food not as something to be feared or indulged in mindlessly, but as something to be respected and chosen carefully.
This journey wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. It took time to break free from the deeply ingrained habits and beliefs that had shaped my relationship with food for so many years. But with each small change, I began to feel more in control of my health and more connected to the food I was eating.
A New Relationship with Food
Today, my relationship with food is entirely different. I’ve moved from seeing food as an enemy to understanding its power to either heal or harm. I’ve learned to listen to my body, to make choices that support my health, and most importantly, to not feel guilty about leaving food behind or refusing something that doesn’t serve me.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is the practice of mindful eating. Instead of mindlessly consuming food, I now pay close attention to how it tastes, how it makes me feel, and whether it’s nourishing my body. This shift in mindset has transformed my relationship with food, allowing me to enjoy eating without the guilt or anxiety that once plagued me.
Tips for Transforming Your Relationship with Food
Throughout my journey, I’ve discovered a few key strategies that have helped me reclaim my relationship with food. These tips can help you take back control and start enjoying food in a healthier, more balanced way.
Listen to Your Body, Not the Plate: Start tuning into your body's signals about food, rather than feeling obligated to eat everything served to you. It's okay to leave food behind if it doesn't serve your well-being. A book that helped me with this is Intuitive Eating.
Redefine Your Relationship with Food: Reframe food as something that should nourish and energize you, rather than a source of guilt or an enemy. Challenge societal norms that promote unhealthy relationships with food and encourage a more balanced, mindful approach.
Identify Your Triggers: Pay attention to how certain foods make you feel, especially if you struggle with chronic health issues. Keeping a food journal can help identify potential triggers and empower you to make informed choices.
Empower Your Choices: Remember that you are in control of your food choices. It’s okay to say no to foods that don’t make you feel good, even if they’ve been a part of your diet for years. Prioritize your health and well-being over any external expectations.
Practice Mindful Eating: Make a habit of practicing mindful eating. Really pay attention to how food tastes, how it makes you feel, and whether it’s nourishing your body. This shift in mindset can transform your relationship with food, just as it did for me.
Wrapping Up My Food Journey
Transforming my relationship with food has been a long but rewarding journey, one that has brought me both physical and emotional healing. By listening to my body and embracing mindful eating, I’ve found a healthier, more balanced way to enjoy food. If you're interested in learning more about my journey and how you can start your own, check out the corresponding video here.