Have you ever wondered what you would do if your life changed completely in an instant? One Sunday night that happened to me. At age 48, I was suddenly displaced, heartbroken, and forced to start over from scratch. But within a year, I turned my life around. If you're facing a similar struggle, I'm here to tell you that it’s possible. Let me share how I transformed my life and how you can too.

My name is Serfronya, and at age 48, I became a displaced homemaker overnight. What followed was a year filled with some of the most challenging experiences of my life, but it was also a year of profound growth and transformation. I learned a lot about myself and found the strength to rebuild my life from the ground up. In this blog post, I'll share my journey, the challenges I faced, the triumphs I achieved, and advice for anyone in a similar situation.

Initial Shock and Displacement

It all began on a seemingly ordinary Sunday night. In a matter of hours, my entire world was turned upside down. I was reeling from the traumatic event, deeply saddened and in shock. The life I had known for decades was gone, and I was left to pick up the pieces. The suddenness of it all was overwhelming, and the grief I felt was immense—like a death, but one I had to survive.

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First Steps

The first few days after the incident were a blur. I stayed with a family member for a few days to regroup, trying to process what had just happened. Thankfully, I had family who could help me financially, and I was able to secure an apartment quickly. However, moving into that apartment was a stark reminder of how much had changed. The apartment was empty—no furniture, no familiar comforts. I had to leave everything behind. I ended up buying the cheapest furniture I could find on Amazon just to get us off the floor. I didn’t splurge on anything. Unless buying an air fryer is considered an indulgence.

With my children depending on me, I knew I needed to act quickly. The very next day after moving in, I applied for food stamps to ensure we had enough to eat. The reality of our situation hit hard, but I was determined to do whatever it took to keep us going. I also started looking into call center work-from-home jobs, thinking it would be something I could start quickly to bring in some income. At this point, my focus was purely on survival.

Emotional and Mental Health

The emotional toll of starting over was immense. To this day, I struggle to find the words to describe the grief I felt. I had heard people say that going through a divorce was like experiencing a death, and I immediately found out the truth of that for myself. The grief was all-consuming, yet I knew I had to push through for the sake of my children.

In those early days, I probably should have been afraid, but instead, I went into what I call "fix-it" mode. I focused on solving the immediate problems—finding a place to live, ensuring we had food, and trying to bring in an income. It was my way of coping, of staying strong in the face of what felt like an insurmountable challenge. I didn’t dwell on fear; I didn’t have time to. I simply took one step at a time, focusing on the tasks that needed to be done to keep us afloat.

Financial Struggles

Financially, the situation was dire. It took several months before I was able to secure child support and temporary spousal support through the court system. In the meantime, I had to rely on credit cards for necessities. Thankfully, I had built up my credit a few years prior in order to get a house, so I had several cards with $0 balances. However, I despise being in debt, so I had always used the cards just enough to keep the accounts open. Now, I was using them to cover basic needs—food, rent, and the minimal furniture we had.

I explained to my children that we were only purchasing what we absolutely needed until our situation turned around. They understood, and together we adjusted to our new reality. I managed to get hired at a call center, but unfortunately, the apartment complex where we lived didn’t have strong enough internet for me to qualify to take calls from home. That was a devastating setback. I had counted on that job to start earning money quickly, and now it was off the table.

Rebuilding a Support System

During this time, I also had to grapple with the loss of my previous support system. It’s a common issue that many people face after a major life change, and I was no exception. During that year, I never heard from a single person who had been a friend of the family before the split. It was as if I had been erased from their lives, and that isolation added another layer of pain to an already difficult situation.

However, I was fortunate to have my brother and two aunts, who became my emotional support. I’ve always been a very private person, and it was hard for me to open up, but I found that I had to talk it out sometimes in order to keep going. It wasn’t easy, but having those few people who believed in me made all the difference. They were my anchors, helping me stay grounded when everything else felt like it was slipping away.

Career and Skill Development

After the setback with the call center job, I began thinking deeply about how I could truly support my family. Having been a stay-at-home homeschool mom for 20 years meant that I didn’t have any work experience to fall back on.

So, instead of trying to find another low-paying job that probably wouldn’t be enough to support my family, I decided to go back to school full-time. It was a risky decision, but I knew that investing in my education was the best way to secure a stable future for us. I began looking into programs that would allow me to leverage the credits I had from my previous college experience and complete my degree as quickly as possible.

Rediscovering Strength

A few months into my journey, I was watching Star Trek: Strange New Worlds when I heard the Doctor speak about post-traumatic growth (PTG). I had never heard of it before, but it immediately piqued my interest. I did some research and learned that PTG is the positive psychological change that can occur after someone experiences a major life crisis or trauma. It involves a meaningful process of personal change that can lead to life-changing shifts in how someone thinks and relates to the world and themselves.

Learning about PTG gave me hope that I wasn’t just going through a terrible ordeal but that I was experiencing something that could lead to profound personal growth. I started striving towards it, believing that I would come out of the other side stronger, with a deeper appreciation for life, new possibilities, and a renewed sense of spiritual change. But it wasn’t easy. Many days I was just devastated and felt like I was constantly trying to walk through water. However, I held on to the idea that this struggle would lead to something greater.

Small Victories

One of the most helpful tools I rediscovered during this time was journaling. I had journaled off and on throughout my life, but during this challenging year, it became a lifeline. Writing down my thoughts, fears, and hopes helped me process what I was going through and gave me a space to reflect on the small victories along the way.

I knew that I needed to turn everything around as soon as possible because I only had so much money left on my credit cards. After doing some research, I enrolled in Western Governors University (WGU), a competency-based online university that allowed me to work at my own pace. My reason was simple: I needed my degree as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I owed my previous college money, so I couldn’t access my transcripts. With no money to pay off that debt, I made the difficult decision to start over from scratch.

For two months, I took classes and earned credits on Sophia.org, a platform that offers low-cost college credits. By the time I started at WGU, I was already one-third of the way done with my degree. I then put my head down and worked tirelessly, earning my Bachelor of Business Administration Management degree in just two months. It was incredibly difficult, but I kept pushing myself every day until I was done. I’m proud of myself for that accomplishment.

With my degree in hand, I leveraged it to get an entry-level management job. This job allowed me to relocate to a new state, giving my children and myself a truly fresh start. The timeline of these events still amazes me: I was displaced at the end of February, earned my degree at the beginning of September, got the job two weeks later, and relocated in February of the following year. It was a whirlwind of activity, but each small victory built upon the last, leading to a complete transformation of our lives.

Personal Growth

As I worked through my classes, I started to feel stronger. My confidence grew with each class I completed, and I began to realize that I could do hard things. I could take care of my family, and I could rebuild our lives from the ground up. It was also life-changing to relocate. Since I was a girl, I had always wanted to live in a place with palm trees, and now I do.

This move symbolized more than just a change of scenery; it represented my newfound independence and strength. I had taken control of my life, made difficult decisions, and emerged on the other side with a deeper understanding of myself and my capabilities. The personal growth I experienced during this time was immense, and it’s something I carry with me every day.

Self-Reliance

While the support I received from family and community resources was invaluable, I also learned the importance of self-reliance during this time. I had to rely on myself to make the tough decisions, to keep moving forward even when it felt impossible, and to rebuild our lives from the ground up. This experience taught me that I am stronger than I ever knew and that I have the ability to overcome even the most daunting challenges.

It’s a lesson that I carry with me every day and one that I hope others can learn from as well. While it’s important to seek and accept help when you need it, it’s equally important to cultivate a sense of self-reliance and confidence in your own abilities.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

One of the most important lessons I learned during this time was the importance of asking for help. During my 20 years of marriage, I didn’t ask for help much. I was used to being self-sufficient, and I found it difficult to reach out to others for support. But in this situation, I had no choice. I was forced to seek help, and I’m glad that I did.

Asking for help was crucial in my journey. It provided the support I needed to keep going, and it made a significant difference in my ability to move forward. If you find yourself in a similar situation, I encourage you to confide in family or friends who you believe will support and help you in any way that they can. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Be Positive About the Future

Staying positive about the future was another crucial element of my journey. I used my journaling to help me with this process. I want to offer you my free journaling guide if you are interested in learning how to journal in a way that helps you improve your life.

Stay in the Moment

Another important aspect of my journey was learning to stay in the moment. It would have been easy to check out, to disconnect from the pain, and just go through the motions. But I realized that staying present, even when it was excruciatingly painful, was key to my healing process.

By staying in the moment, I was able to confront my emotions directly rather than burying them or trying to ignore them. It was incredibly difficult, but I can’t help thinking that it helped me start to feel better sooner. Facing your feelings head-on, as painful as it may be, can lead to faster and more meaningful recovery.

You Can Do It Too

Starting over at 48 was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it was also an opportunity to rebuild my life in a way that truly reflects who I am. If you’re facing a similar challenge, know that it’s possible to transform your life, even in the most difficult circumstances. I hope my story and the tips I’ve shared help you on your journey.

Make sure to check out my video where I also discuss this topic.

How I Rebuilt My Life at 48: From Adversity to Success